I used to desire to be on top and be in control. I no longer feel that. I’ve been cheated on and manipulated. Nowadays, it’s always about doing things i don’t even like just to make sure people will not leave me. I’m tired of pretending to be someone who is good at things just to make them choose me. I’ve been questioning myself on what’s my worth. How come other people put too much effort to people who can’t event commit to them. I am here, doing everything I can, even the things I can’t but I’m left with with people who doesn’t care about how I want to be treated. They can’t even choose me or put an effort to show what’s my worth. I’ve been relying on people on how I should feel. I failed myself and my family. I’m tired and no longer know why I’m still alive. I feel useless and tired.
You do the work that you don’t want, earn the money you don’t have, to please the people you don’t like.
Maybe the universe is telling you to stop! Pause for a while and review your relationships. If they cannot reciprocate your effort, maybe its time to stop giving effort at all. Learn to cut ties if you need to. Stop crossing the ocean for people who can’t even paddle for you.
ouch! but sometime this is an Ugly truth
It may seem odd. But nothing you would hear or read will be able to help you. The only help others can offer is that this will soon pass and we can’t wait for the day that you are in a place you really wanted. @Athaza,
hi @Athaza you can always try.. have a teleconsult with us here in Mind You, with our psychologists, our coaches and even in our mental health helpline… 
Welcome to Mind You Community @BETTERthanU