I failed a very important interview recently which could’ve change my life because I wasn’t focused, I got overwhelmed so when I was asked by one of the interviewers, no words came out from my mouth and I walked out like a loser, now I regeretted it so much that it’s giving me hard time to fall asleep, I feel incompetent. I beat myself up for not even trying. I cry almost everyday. I understand the question, I can even answer it if I tried but for some reason because I wasn’t so sure at that time if I really want the position, I just know that it’s important. I also doubted myself after seeing other applicants, I got intimidated. I didn’t have enough sleep and so complicent. Now I realized how I’d like that job very much and that position is all I ever wanted.
I applied again because they have an opening however it has been a month and I haven’t heard from them. Opportunities do really knock on your door once only. I feel anxious and hopeless. Why did it I let it slide just like that?? Why am I so stupid and immature???
They say that everyone has their own timeline. What if it’s not true? There’s something about being 26 that makes me feel so pressured about having stable career.
Someone even told me that life starts at 30 but I feel like by then it’s gonna be too late for me to chase my dream job, I’m already behind from everyone else. I can’t afford to be in that situation. That’s the definition of misery. Finding job in my 30s is just so miserable.
My parents are working so hard to make sure I don’t grow old broke and I feel so guilty that they have to do that for me. Maybe they know I can’t get anything done for myself so they have to get me establish.
I’m sure you’ve heard people say things like, “you’re still young” or “you still have your whole life ahead of you,” and stuff like that. I hated hearing those things when I was younger, but now that I’m older, I hate to admit that they’re actually largely true. We always feel like we should be doing more in our 20s. It’s a very frustrating and annoying thing, but also very normal. Life can be long. And you’re going to make a lot of mistakes. What’s important is to be able to learn from those mistakes.
In situations like this, it’s important to take a step back, breathe, and try to analyze what worked and didn’t work in your favor. Improvement and growth always starts with self-awareness. Whenever you’re trying to reflect on these things, it’s not helpful to be self-berating. For example: you asked yourself “why did I let it slide like that?” and you follow it up by accusing yourself of being stupid and immature. That statement is not helpful and does not answer your original question. So let’s look at that question again: Why did I let it slide like that? A better response to this question is “did you in fact let it slide like that?” You are working under the assumption that your inability to perform was due to a lack of ability or competence. In this particular instance, it wasn’t; it was anxiety. So the issue is not that you are stupid and immature; the issue is that you were anxious.
Now, you may have just been ranting and venting and letting out some steam in this post, that’s not bad; it’s important to be able to let out these things. But after the fact, you need to be able to sit and reflect and be proactive about your problem. The problem here is not a lack of competence; it’s anxiety. So if you address the anxiety, you’re more likely to perform better in the future.
While speaking to a professional is the best route to really do something about your anxiety, you can start by yourself by maybe writing down the things you are anxious about. Like I said earlier, self-awareness is always the first step to growth. Having more visibility over the things that you are anxious about can help you find better ways to deal with your concerns.
Thank you for your advice. I have a very low self esteem. Forgiving myself for committing mistakes seems to be the hardest thing for me to do. I am so afraid of what will other think of me. I am very insecure. I get easily embarrass, ashame of my past.
I am aware of my problems and I’m trying so hard not to be like this but I can’t help it. It’s consuming me. Maybe this is who I am. This is what makes me, me.
