When faced with self-esteem issues, the common response a lot of people have is to look upon themselves in a more positive light and not to be so harsh on themselves. While not being harsh on yourself is definitely a good idea, sometimes it’s not realistic to see yourself in a positive light, and that’s okay.
I could have a very positive view of myself and tell myself and people that, for example, “I am amazing at speaking French.” This is not true as I do not know how to speak in French. At all. But I can be positive about it and say that I am great at it. However, because it’s not realistic, I end up being delusional about the reality of my abilities and might end up in situations where I cannot do what I’m expected to do because of my unrealistic self-appraisal.
On the other hand, if I’m able to admit to myself that I’m really bad at French, that’s not a bad thing; that’s a realistic starting point. By accepting that I’m not good at something, I’m in a better position to identify why and what I can work on to improve. Additionally, if I can be honest with my own abilities, I can better set realistic goals for myself and more realistic expectations from those around me.
Being realistic doesn’t mean you need to be harsh on yourself; just honest. And if you’re able to that, then you’re already on the better path to self-improvement.
Feel free and share your realistic selves down below and show us where you’re starting from. 